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Archive Stories
Archived stories from 2012

Choose the month of the 2012 archive you would like to browse from the links below. You can choose other years to browse from the menu on the left.

Predicting the future forecasts tomorrow (Part One)

Everyone knows what's happened in the last 12 months: what real enterprise risk professionals want to know is what is likely to happen in the coming 12 months. With that in mind, RISKbitz veteran industry commentators Bart Hogroy and Todd Gwynion [get on with it, I'm bored already. Ed] have prepared an indispensable list of the events most likely to impact up your bottom line [for god's sake. Ed]

Is the future really ahead of us?

1 Solvency II: where is it?
An ongoing shortage of acronyms causes further delays to Solvency II and while no-one is paying attention Solvency III is rushed through on a new Omnibus. "You wait years for an Omnibus and then suddenly two come along at once," one comedian will say in his otherwise excruciatingly dull presentation attended by two people in a cavernous hall in Brussels. The three pillars of a simplified Solvency III are: make sure the money is under the CFO's bed and not invested in risk free assets; make sure the glue is dry in your balsa models (see 9 below); don't write any more new business.

2 UK insurers move to fee based model
After centuries of basing their businesses on issuing insurance policies in return for premium payments, the UK's insurers instead move to a fully fee-based model. Accepting fees to pass on the personal details of clients to claims chasing lawyers, spammers and Nigerian businessmen proves to be profitable enough to balance out motor insurance combined ratios in excess of 250%.

3 Relocation craze spreads to jurisdictions themselves
In a move designed to neutralise the tax threat facing Bermuda-based companies, Bermuda itself relocates to the Florida Keys. A spokesman for the Bermuda Business Association will say, "Not only are we closer to our client base but we are closer to the perils as well!" In a copycat move, following the UK's ejection from the EU, the City of London relocates to Switzerland. "The food is better, the trains work and the boss is closer to his ski chalet," a smug idiot will say.

4 Reinsurance trade publisher finally finds ultimate new gimmick
Tired of reusing other publishers' clapped out ideas Global ReBore magazine launches a rolling pay to view 3D Virtual TV Award Summit Roundtable On Ice whereby platinum sponsors have their CEO's images projected on to the sky using laser technology. The scheme is augmented at Monte Carlo by RAF Hercules transport aircraft carpet-bombing the principality with embossed pen drives containing corporate propaganda individually suspended on tiny parachutes that are also printed with sponsor's logos.

5 Piracy problem extends up the Thames
Fierce competition among Somali pirates in the Gulf of Aden forces several gangs to seek new markets. One group starts operating a power boat on the River Thames, focussed on the City of London. In one raid the pirates kidnap a group of reinsurance lawyers only to find that no ransom can be raised. Instead, city institutions pay pirates to keep lawyers and pirates move to a fee-based model that keeps everyone happy. Except the lawyers. But hey.

Other news from Jan 2012
Travelating the Wave of Insurability
the serious stuff
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