On-line Quote


“I can't even spell fackeltative, let alone underwrite it”
Sponsorship levels
  • Kryptonite
  • Titanium
  • Bling Bling
  • Platinum
  • Gold
  • Lead

Please contact Riskbitz for sponsorship opportunities
Archive Stories
Archived stories from Apr 2018

Choose the month of the 2018 archive you would like to browse from the links below. You can choose other years to browse from the menu on the left.

Press release tsunami threatens industry media

Mocha Re communications manager Toby E Jitte, has denied that he is addicted to issuing media releases. Yet in the time it has taken you to read this sentence Jitte will have released three press releases providing comment on topical news events relating to the proposed widening of the A14, unseasonal spring weather and the appointment of a new receptionist.

Toby E Jitte, compulsive press releaser

"There is no truth in the rumour that I have a compulsive obsessive disorder that forces me to issue press statements on everything," Jitte told riskBITZ before giving our reporter a media release on the employment liability implications of hiring executives with obsessive compulsive disorders. Jitte's co-workers became concerned over the communications manager's behaviour after he started issuing press releases to announce visits made to the Gents toilet by Mocha Re's CFO, Ian Glasses.

Human resource managers were called in after Jitte organised so many seminars, webinars and press briefings that the firm's productivity began to suffer. "Not content with putting us through week long residential media training camps, Toby deluges us with requests for content to put in white papers, ghosted articles and conference presentations," said one manager who asked to remain anonymous but whose name is Brian Drane.

Insurance trade press journalists who are usually happy to have empty column inches filled with anything vaguely risk related are also tiring of Jitte's "press release machine". Jitte said that he would respond to accusations that he was over-exposing Mocha Re just as soon as he had put the finishing touches to a white paper on the risk of over exposing your brand in the trade media.

"The truth of the matter is that I have a clever piece of software that can produce a media document at the touch of a button," Jitte later revealed. "All I have to do is type in a few key words such as ?cyber', ?risk', and ?data'. Select an option eg press release, white paper or webinar and bingo - out it pops."

STOP PRESS: Since filing this piece we have been notified that Jitte has been placed on sick leave by Mocha Re. "He's got RSI," a spokesman said. "Which is another way of saying he is a total?" cont p34


Other news from Apr 2018
 
Travelating the Wave of Insurability
the serious stuff
You need help