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Archive Stories
Archived stories from 2007

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New photocopier insurance from Quibble Insurance

A new policy aimed at office-based companies has been launched by on-line insurer Quibble Insurance. The policy provides breakdown cover for photocopiers and covers the difficult December/January period.

Risk of bottom photocopying
highlights need for insurance

?This policy is not designed for the normal wear and tear problems but is specially designed for accidents caused during office Christmas and New Year parties,? said Robbie Williams (no relation), underwriting manager at Quibble. ?Specifically, it is designed to cover breakdown caused by bottom photocopying.?

According to research carried out by Quibble down at their local, photocopying of bottoms by employees has seen a 47.4% increase in the last year, notably in the Christmas party period, resulting in a 36.8% increase in photocopier accidents.

Ronan Keating (no relation), chairman of Quibble, said that photocopiers were simply not meant to withstand the weight of the average sales manager from Dorking. ?And with obesity on the increase in the British workplace, this has become a major risk for businesses. Arse-copying has become a sad fact of life for British businesses?

Technical manager at Quibble, Louise Redknapp-Formerly of Eternal (no relation), added that obesity problems meant that most employees could only in fact photocopy one buttock at a time, greatly increasing the risk of damage to the photocopier. ?This is a policy that has arrived just in the nick of time, although obviously we?ve now missed the main party period,? said Louise.

Asked why all their employees were named after popstars, ceo ?H from Steps?, said ?It?s not a requirement. It just a happy coincidence. And it means we can do reunion gigs, open supermarkets and appear on Big Brother when insurance business is slow.?

For more information about the Quibble XS of Arse policy, please contact Britney Spears (no relation) or Justin Timberlake (relation).


Other news from Jan 2007
 
Travelating the Wave of Insurability
the serious stuff
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