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Archive Stories
Archived stories from Nov 2017

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CO2 emissions spike following Stern Review

Carbon emissions have risen to dangerously high levels in Europe following the publication of the UK government's Stern Review on the economics of climate change. Hotspots include the City of London where spokesmen for insurers, reinsurers and risk manager groups have emitted millions of tonnes of CO2 agreeing that if someone doesn't do something fast something awful could happen to the global marketplace.

Industry sees red
over climate change

The sudden release of CO2 from London and other financial centres is said to be linked to the findings of the Stern Review by the UK government finally sinking in. The review warns of the dire economic consequences of global warming on the insurance industry.

Scientists have warned that the earth's climate is reaching a tipping point. As reports and studies become more alarming the insurance industry actually begins to release more CO2, issuing press statements and flying to climate seminars in far flung cities.

The Stern Review is likely to create a big rise in hot air because it relates to potential financial losses rather than green or humanitarian issues. "Environmental degradation, human suffering and species loss in the third world is one thing. Diminished investment returns as a result of the end of the world is quite another. This is getting serious," said Graham Gekko, insurance analyst with Hades Capital.

"My secretary tells me that the Stern Report makes very frightening reading. That's why I'm not going to read it," says Mocha Re chairman Sir Norbert Johnson. "She says that it will soon be too hot to go to my holiday villa in the South of France in Summer and that there will be no snow in the Alps for my skiing holiday in Winter. Somebody simply has to do something before it is too late." Cont. Revelations Chapter XI.


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